Lesson 72

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Holding grievances is an attack on God’s plan for salvation.

If the word “God” is uncomfortable to you, please feel free to replace it with Love. I use God here since it is the term used in ACIM.

Some lesson. A hard lesson and I have a problem with this lesson. This lesson is an attack on the ego. It is an attack that has shadow properties. But it is my own shadow I see or is it a shadow lurking in ACIM…

In the lesson we are told that the ego does “an active attack” on God’s plan. Must be a futile attack, unless you see ego as God.

The first rule of the ego is that it will have you believe you can abolish it.

The second,  make you think want to get rid of it.

In this lesson, ACIM goes even further in its quest to slay the ego. ACIM use some very cheap tactics such as:

The ego’s fundamental wish is to replace God

I’m not too worried. I know that the ego never can replace God anyway. Holding that belief would make God something not to have faith in. But I appreciate ACIM for trying to scare me to fear my ego. The ego would just love that. That I fear my ego for that would indicate that I have no faith in God, that I doubt.

So, dear ACIM. With light, there is darkness. It is a logical consequence. Darkness need light, for if there is no light there can not be any darkness. Without light, there is nil.

The ego works just like darkness and Gos is the light. When the ego runs me, runs my life I’m in darkness. So that I can discover that I am not in the light. It is a guardian, an indicator, a tool for me to use to align my being with the light.
The ego is always there for me to guide me. It is relentless. It will catch me every time I stray from the light and guide me back to the light.

To perform this task, the ego has all the privileges imaginable and will always challenge me in a n+1 level. Always pushing me forward.

So I say, thank you for lesson 72 but no thank you. If it is ok with you I’d keep my ego. It is my ally.

I also like to wish you the best of luck with your ego hunting.

 

 

Lesson 46

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ACIM lesson 46. “God does not forgive”

Indeed, ACIM is not rooted in the christian tradition, or rather it goes beyond the rather harsh and unloving traditional interpretation of God. It would indeed be a strange God if God was the source of condemnation. Condemnation is not of Love but of fear and must therefore be an illusion. An illusion to maintain the pain.

What is not given in the description of this lesson but is a logical conclusion is that forgiveness is co-creation. When we forgive ourselves, we love ourselves. When we love ourselves we are also co-creating.

As always when co-creating, honour the distinction between God and Divine. It can be very easy to give in to the Ego and believe that one is God and thus hindering you from unleashing your full divine potential.

Key Lesson in ACIM.

 

My holiness is my salvation

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To grasp the sentence: “We are dealing only in the very obvious, which has been overlooked in the clouds of complexity in which you think you think. ”

I’m thinking that I’m thinking, but is really just clouds om complexity. These clouds of complexity have been created to obfuscate the very obvious, that guilt is hell.

When I recognize that I think I think and that salvation is already here, guilt vanishes.

This is Lesson 39 in ACIM. For me, it is a challenge. Guilt has always been a challenge. I need to free myself from the bonds of guilt… but how???

 

 

 

Ego and ACIM

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Lesson 25: I do not know what anything is for.

In lesson 25 we are still working on the concept of perception vs what is real. But there is a mystery in ACIM that puzzles me. Always has. In ACIM the Ego is bad and the purpose is to undo and abolish it. Well, from what I have understood so far. This might be a projection from my side but I’m eager to explore. In the text to this lesson I found an example of this Ego bashing:

“You perceive the world and everything in it as meaningful in terms of ego goals. These goals have nothing to do with your own best interests, because the ego is not you.”

So, the Ego is not me. Ok. Please be aware that you are also saying that the Ego does exist it must be real (nothing unreal exists). Given what is all-encompassing (Love) then Ego is Love. The Ego is really a force/will for spiritual growth.
I dunno. I accept that my Ego is. I accept that my Ego may appear as the culprit for my deviations from Love but I put no blame on the Ego. That would be giving the responsibility for me to unknown forces. I like to be fully responsible for myself and the endless self that I am. No, the Ego serves a purpose. It is a teacher or a guide. It will constantly keep me on my toes, making sure I do not stray from Love. Ever. The Ego cannot be fooled or tricked.Please try to get rid of your Ego but denial will only get you so far. Or you can embrace your Ego and practice forgiveness on yourself. Allow yourself to be human, and not some egoless God. Celebrate your humanity and your unique ability to be the will where spirits grows. Be Love.

GM and NPD

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I recently ran into an article by psychologist and neural scientist. They had measured empathy with some amazing results.
This professor had earlier conducted brain scans on people diagnosed with NPD. The brain of a person with a NPD does contain less gray matter in the left anterior insula.

At first a person with NPD seems to be an enigma. Claiming there is nothing wrong with them and as far as they can remember had the perfect childhood. According to all books on NPD suggests that suppression is used to distort reality.
Given the findings in the gray matter it may be absolutely true. Just like they tell you. The brain has a high degree of plasticity. A child that is abused and denied having emotions with the abuse will eventually not own these emotions. At all. Even project them onto others. The lack of empathy in NPD could also be explained by this loss of gray matter. The part of the brain that does this empathic processing is replaced, to protected the undeveloped psyche of the infant. Given the emotional environment it is not safe for them to process these emotions further.

So, instead of being puzzled by their total lack of empathy, their total inability to cope with the simples form of emotions (shame). Instead, understand that they are wired that way. It it like being upset  with a blind person not seeing or a deaf person not hearing. A person with a NPD has lost the ability to experience empathy and will never be able to do that. Just as you can love a blind person despite their inability to see you can love a person with NPD.  Just as the blind can’t find you beautiful, the NPD cannot see you for who you are or even as a separate person(/entity).

Given the brains plasticity a person with a NPD can expand the GM by practicing emotions and emotional response.
But don’t be surprised if they hesitate.  For who would like to feel all the pain in the world, when loving yourself is all you really need…

… can have no opposite

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In lesson 20 I’m informed that I want:

  1. salvation
  2. happiness
  3. peace

I’m also told that I don’t have that now. That my mind is undisciplined. I cannot distinguish between joy and sorrow, pleasure and pain, love and fear.

Perhaps it was forgotten that what was written in the introduction:

“The course does not aim at teaching the meaning of love, for that is beyond what can be taught. It does aim, however, at removing the blocks to the awareness of love’s presence, which is your natural inheritance. The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite”

If you already know what I want there is no need telling me that. I will eventually figure this out myself. ACIM is not allowing Love to do its work here, hence we are dealing with fear.
Making assumptions on my current capacity and naming them is also an act of fear. In a way suggesting that joy is preferred over sorrow, pleasure is better than pain or that you can choose between love and fear. How is that possible???
Love can have no opposite, remember.

I get what you want from this lesson. You want me to consider more ways to see things and to choose the one that sees only Love.
Feelings like joy and sorrow guides me to seeing only Love.Pleasure and pain is just value I assign to an experience, an experience of Love.
DJ-Zeus.

Living your life

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My therapist said: You are living your life through other people’s opinions.

And it hurt. Very much. That kind of  hurt can only come from resistance. What am I resisting here…

Resisting the Truth. That would hurt a lot.

The truth is I am living my life through other’s opinion. In fact, it is a core value om my entire being. No wonder it hurts. Everything that I see myself as is invested in this. I own my value through other’s opinion. That is risky business. Volatile to say the least.

And it has always been like this. To bet attentions from my parents I had to outshine my two older sisters. Then I would get attention, seem to have some sort of value. Never learning my own true value. Always earning my value. Hard work. Hard work indeed.

Since I’m a man I cannot give birth to new life. My purpose is to serve someone who have that gift. If I cannot provide for that someone I have no purpose. Every cell in my body is designed to just that. To serve. Be responsive, patient and adaptive. Every cell in my body is loaded with testosterone to aid me in initiating actions. To serve.

Hence the pain and hence the resistance. My therapist not only told me the truth. My therapist also told me that I have no purpose. Here I am, living my life, with a purpose and then it turns out that my purpose in life is false.

What is my purpose?
Do I have a purpose?

What if I don’t need a purpose. Just live my life and find my purpose. The purpose is to find the purpose. A never-ending quest. I could do that. Knowing your purpose and less exciting tan finding your purpose. Having a purpose makes life more like a job. I do my stuff and hopefully nobody gets hurt or complains and you can see the benefit and sometime get a reward.

Please note that purpose and meaning are two entirely different things.

Meaning is easy.Purpose is not.

 

A Course In Narcissism?

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Lesson 14: God did not create a meaningless world.

Fair enough. The statement as such is not too complicated (unless you suffer from a Shadow of God).
No, but then I’m reminded that ACIM is a spiritual self-study.  At times, some spiritual teachings and leaders are not sane from a psychological perspective.
Today’s lesson includes the following instruction:

“With eyes closed, think of all the horrors in the world that cross your mind. Name each one as it occurs to you, and then deny its reality.”

As examples you are given “war” or “cancer”. One could argue that denial is a primitive defense mechanism. But I stumbled upon the word “horrors”.
Whatever you perceive as horrors you make unreal. When in reality there are no horrors. At all. Just your perception and judgement of something or someone. I don’t think this is, for me, a good way towards salvation.  Also, this opens up for narcissism to move in. Whenever you judge certain expressions of Love as horrors you are walking on very this psychological ice.  Let’s review some of the indicators used to assess NPD:

  • is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
  • is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
  • lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
  • is interpersonal exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

When you decide that all horrors are unreal you get really to close to being preoccupied with fantasies of an ideal self or ideal world or both.
Let’s assume you decide cancer is not real. To a person with cancer, I’d say that statement would rank as high as hearing that you got cancer because of your sins. moreover, and even worse, you are exploiting all the people who have cancer or are at war for you to feel good.

But the worst part of this, and why this is ACIN: you externalize horrors. Horrors are not “our there”. Horrors are always inside.
Horrors serves a purpose. Horrors (fears) are there to remind you that you have forgotten about Love. Without horrors or fears we would be lost and would soon be run over by our egos and drift away from Love.

Don’t deny your Darkness.

Do you prefer explanations or responsibility?

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Do you prefer explanations or responsibility?
(“Do you prefer that you be right or happy?”)

For you cannot have both. Either you choose explanations, excuses and blaming. Seeing yourself as powerless, a victim perhaps. As if you want a mother/father to step in and defend you, to settle the score and who’s love will comfort you. This is the voice of that unheard inner child that doesn’t ever seem to be heard. Even though you shout at the top of your lungs. One day you will have to face it, face the truth. There is this person that will comfort your inner child. A person who give this child all the unconditional love it, not only needs, but also is entitled to. Just like you always knew. And I’m not talking God. I’m talking a real person. That special someone who will always be there for you. The one in your dreams and fantasies. The one will understand everything completely and effortlessly. Yes, I’m talking about yourself. Yes, it is You. Only You have that power.

And when you sort this out. Notice if your preference between explanations or responsibility changes? if so, how?

 

“You can have a grievance or you can have a miracle; you cannot have both.” – Lesson 78 (ACIM)

Empathy

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I found an article on the subject of sympathy, empathy and compassion.

There is this thing called mirror neuron. Neurons that fire in your brain as if the observed event was happening to you. We all have different ways of processing these stimulies.  The emotional response may also vary between individuals.

The most primitive version is sympathy. We have a reaction as if it did happen to us. If a friend is low we join them in their pain and cannibalise on it. Then again, it is shared so it feels kind of good.

When we experience an empathic response we are very clear that this did not happen to me, but we can go through the same emotional response as if it indeed happened to us. Please not that this response is not necessairlly the same response as the subject ahd but rather our version of it.

In the article, the a buddhist priest was included and his brain had a different response. A response of Love and warmth.

The author of the article argued that the empathic response often wear people down when they ae subjected to a lot of mirror neuron stimuli. The remedy was meditation and acheiving a more compassionate response. Such an individual can handle a lot of negative stimuli.
Quite Interesting.

Then something caught my attention. They measured the empathic resposne when they had divided the group according to Soccer team prefs. The empathic response was much lower for the opponents and even had some opposite responses. They enjoyed seeing an opponent being subjected to pain.  The empathic responses was much stronger in your own group/flock. If this is true I think we can see new tearment methods for people who are empathically challenged.